Over scheduled

Twenty or 30 years ago, playing sports meant running around with the kids in the neighborhood and playing catch, shooting hoops or riding bikes. Usually the only restriction you had was getting home before the streetlights turned on.

Today, having hours of free, unstructured playtime is a rare treat. Instead, kids hop in the car after school and rush off to soccer practice, piano or tutoring. On weekends, young competitive athletes often board planes and travel thousands of miles away to play against kids they’ve never met.

“In just the past 20 years, structured sports time has doubled and unstructured children’s activities have declined 50 percent,” says Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, child psychiatrist and author of “The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap.”

Many parents are busier than cruise ship directors coordinating activities and rearranging family priorities around all their kids’ enrichment activities, says Rosenfeld.

“Family time disappears and church goes away because that’s ice (hockey) time or gymnastics practice,” he says. “I don’t think enrichment activities are bad. I think they’re very helpful, actually. It’s just the overabundance of them in any one kid or family is just too much.”

In fact, a number of studies have shown that kids who participate in extracurricular activities are more likely to do well academically and socially, have a higher level of self-esteem and are less likely to take drugs or engage in risky behaviors. The key is to find the right balance for each child.

In today’s competitive world, no one feels—or so it seems to him or her—the pressure to be the best more than a child. From early on, we, as parents, sign them up for everything from soccer and gymnastics, to music and dance. And while these activities teach them the values of discipline and teamwork, they can also create added pressure some children may not know how to deal with. Whether you have an elementary, junior or high school student, here is an age-appropriate guide on how to help your child navigate through the competitive waters.

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