Connecting with your Tween

How teens at this stage are feeling like they are “in be”tween “. Stage in their life not a kid, not an adult. They are pushing the fence and are trying to be independent. This is a time where they might say or act like they don’t want you around, but it is a crucial time to be around and involved.

What it looks like:

Playing video games, or their interest hobbies, or sports.

Nurturing, non-judgmental conversation- checking in with them & listening.

Setting boundaries, family rules. By sticking to consequences actually relays to your child that you care.

ASK, Check, Verify (when leaving them alone, or going to friends do just as you would when they were in elementary school.)

What you can do;

Stay active in their school-volunteer.

Establish “family nites” to play games, watch movies, or create a different theme each time.

Start “date night” with your child to give them one on one time. ) if you have multiple kids rotate through and give them each their special night.

Set a day/night a week to have family time, or one on one time with your teen. Pick a family T.V series to watch once a week together.

Driving in the car together (a great way for one on one time, and conversation)

Tucking them in at night, teens are usually more talkative when they are tired.

Conversation and connection can be reinforced through social media, or texting. Try speaking their language too. TTYL (talk to you later)- LOL(laugh out loud)- or use emoji Icons, they will get a kick out of it.

Identify your child’s “talking language. (Are they more talkative at night? During dinner time, shooting hoops, driving in the car, when they get home, or getting picked up, start to establish that now to better understand when they are open to talk.)

It is best not to try to pull the conversation out of your teen when it is visible that there might be a problem. Refrain from using terms like “Is there something wrong, how was your day, or persisting on finding out what is wrong. Identifying your child’s “talking language” is crucial in connecting with your child, and understanding their internal processing.

Being available when they want you, putting work, to-do lists aside and given them your undivided attention whenever it is.

To learn more ideas add the Relational Awakening Issue to your MASK Library

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