Bystander or Upstander

A BYSTANDER is a person who is standing near, but is not taking part in what is happening.

An UPSTANDER is person who stands up to the bully with the victim.

One of the best ways to stop a bully is to show them that they are not alone. Talk with your child about the responsibility of the Upstander. UPSTANDERS Do not wait for anybody else, UPSTANDERS stand up for what is right. FRIENDS stand up. We want to teach them that we all have the power to stand up and speak up.

If you watch someone be victimized and do nothing, you are part of the problem. Explain that standing up for someone does not necessarily mean having to use physical strength or violence or using your words.

We all know our children, and we can teach them different ways of being an upstander. If your child is more shy and reserved, there are ways to be an upstander, if you child is strong willed, there are others.

AND we can teach our children to be assertive (at different levels) : Check out this website for some great tips https://afineparent.com/strong-kids/how-to-be-assertive.html

Ways to teach them to be an Upstanders

Less assertive ways

- Walking away with the victim
- Standing near the victim
- Supporting and helping others who are bullied
- Hanging out with the victim.
- If you see it happening to someone else, offer your help
- Invite the victim to join you
- Do not wait for anybody else
- Staring at the bully
- Be a friend, even if this person is not yet your friend. Go over to them. Let them know how you think they are feeling. Walk with them.
- Help them to talk to an adult about what just happened. (Just think for a moment about how great this would be if someone did this for you when you were being picked on or hurt!)

Refuse to be a “bystander” and be a role model to others instead!

More assertive ways

If you see friends or classmates laughing along with the bully, tell them that they are contributing to the problem. Let them know that kind of behavior is not okay in your school.
Going up to the person being bullied and saying “Hey, come with us.”
Saying to the bully “Hey, that’s not cool.”

To learn more about Bullying and how to help prepare your child add the Bully issue to your MASK Library

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