Are You Pushing Your Child To Do Too Much?

When kids are over scheduled, they often become stressed out or depressed, which affects their performance in the classroom and on the field.

“You get the parents who are scheduling their kids so tightly that they’re in school, they’re studying for tests, they’re up late at night, they’re traveling in the car, they’re going to practice…they’re exhausted!” says Michael Bergeron, Ph.D., director of the National Youth Sports Health & Safety Institute (NYSHS). “That free relaxation, play and rest isn’t there. And a lot of the problems that you see with kids—whether it’s academic underachievement or injuries—are really related to fatigue.”

Parents should be on the lookout for signs that their children may be on overload such as having trouble sleeping, chronic stomach aches, frequent tears and tantrums, or complaining every time they head out to an activity or game.

In some households, the entire family life revolves around kids’ sports and activities. It’s not uncommon for parents to miss work, give up time together as a couple, or devote entire weekends to out-of-state tournaments.

“What we focus on too often is the number of activities, and what we ought to be focusing on is, how are they affecting my specific family,” says Rosenfeld. “If you’re finding that you’re always resentful about the driving, if you’re grumpy…if you feel that martyrdom is the ultimate motherhood, I think you’re probably making an error and you’ve gone too far.”

As a baseball coach and father of four, Mike Clements adopts a low-stress approach to his children’s extracurricular activities.

“The most important thing is that they have fun and that they enjoy what they’re doing,” says Clements. His kids enjoy a number of activities throughout the year including piano, flute, art, drama, soccer, baseball and basketball, but the family rule is only one sport per season for each child.

Last winter, when his 8-year-old daughter wanted to join a basketball league in the middle of her gymnastics competitive season, he told her she had to choose.

“It would have been too much overlap and just too much to juggle,” says Clements. She chose to stick with her favorite sport, gymnastics.

Giving your kids a voice on how they would like to spend their time is so important. Let them try new things- the goal is to expose them to many interest- not to groom them for perfection.

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