Be a Role Model

Of course, like so many aspects of parenting, role modeling comes into play when it comes to setting boundaries. Human beings generally learn by copying, Fay says, as our brains are hardwired from birth to learn by experience as well as by subconscious imitation and copying. So, parents and caregivers, that means your kids are watching and learning from you.

The reality is that although most everyone will say they want their children to grow up to be happy, successful adults who can take care of themselves, Fay notes, kids are only going to do that “if they see it happen.”

The key, then, is to model those positive kinds of behavior—as opposed to, perhaps, letting them take their cues from sports and entertainment figures—and spend time visualizing what you want your kids to be like in their 20s and 30s.

“I don’t think parents spend much time writing down what they want their kids to be,” he says. Fay suggests parents write down what they want/dream/wish for their kids to be and/or have when they are grown up. Committing this to paper is a step, he says, in making it become a reality. “It takes just 15 minutes, and what we wish for our kids might pay off. It’s only too late if you don’t think you can change anything you’re doing.”

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