Tuned In

Any parent will tell you communicating with our children is a hit or miss effort, depending on the day. Some days, my 16-year-old daughter is feeling much too mature to talk so it’s like pulling teeth to get a rundown of her day. Other days I’m “mommy” whom she can’t wait to hug and confide in.

Then there’s my 10-year-old son, who either wants to tell me about every play he either made in baseball or football. Or he’s simply too tired to talk unless it’s about whether he gets dessert that night or is pleading for an extra 10 minutes of ESPN before bed.

Trying to stay connected to our children is a constant challenge, but worth every ounce of effort.

Because I anchor the CBS 5 News evening newscasts, it means I’m away from home during those critical hours between the time they’re home from school and the time they go to bed. Toss in the fact that I share custody of them so they’re only with me half the week and, well, I have my communication work cut out for me.

Having a front row seat to the good and bad news of the day is a curse and a blessing.

The more I know, the more protective I become. Because of that, I find myself having some pretty bold conversations with my kids. I want them to make smart and safe choices, and sometimes that means pulling no punches, getting real and even sharing my own mistakes.

A few years ago, I found a journal I had kept in high school. I had written about some not so proud moments and used some not so pretty language in talking about my mom. I shared it with my daughter, not just to open a dialogue about some of the things I wrote about, but to also show her that I, too, was once a teenager, who had experienced some of the same thoughts or feelings she might have or will have. I can honestly say I think she feels pretty comfortable sharing just about anything with me.

My son, I must admit, is pretty easy right now. The key for him is just making sure I’m there and that I listen. That has meant moving closer to work so that I can go home during my dinner break twice a week. I can help with homework and I can cook meals that we can sit at the dinner table together and eat.

On those days they’re not with me, I make sure to call them. They know to expect a call from me when I’m putting on my makeup before the first newscast, so I’m not distracted by scripts and emails. And they know to expect another call from me after dinner.

Ours is not a perfect arrangement, but we make it work because constant communication is crucial to maintaining a close and connected relationship. I can’t think of anything more valuable than that.

By \\ Catherine Anaya

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